M is...

I've noticed, since I joined facebook, that I've started to think of myself in the third person. I also seem to constantly be telling myself what I'm doing.
I remember reading a blog post about a girl who had started thinking to herself in "lolspeak" during the lolcats craze. "I'm in ur bafroom, uzin ur floz." "I'm in ur kichen, nawt replacin de milks." I think I'm doing the same thing with my facebook status.
In the morning;
"M is... really not feeling like going to work today."
"M is... considering calling in dead."
"M is... getting in her car."

It continues all day.

"M is... thinking a coffee break would be nice."
"M is... wishing she were outside!"
"M is... considering stabbing herself in the eye with a fork."

Any song lyrics I hear seem to be the perfect fodder for facebook status updates.
"M is... stopping the hearse on George Street, outside some damn saloon."
"M is... even better than the real thing."
"M is... wondering how many thousands of dollars of titanium she could steal from this place before they caught her." Wait. Disregard that. Definitely not a song lyric.
"M is... back in black."

After work.
"M is... f*cking tired."
"M is... going running."
"M is... giving up on the run and wandering around aimlessly."
"M is... scooping tomatoes into her dinner."

But, I do make it a firm rule not to update my status too often. One of my friends is perpetually updating his status, as often as every five minutes. My news feed tells me everything he does, from arriving at brunch, to the topic of conversation over brunch, to paying for brunch, to leaving brunch, to the gas he passed after brunch.
I don't want to tell you people that much about me. I have to maintain the mystery.

(Yes, it's been a while. I'm trying to get back on the horse.)