change
Change is good.
No, change is bad.
Well, either way, change is freakin' everywhere.
I have a disease. I guess it must be genetic, because I'm pretty convinced my mom has it too. I have a change disease. It accumulates everywhere. There was at least $10 on my desk, probably $8 on my dresser, $40 or $50 in a shoebox, another $30 or so in a pillowcase under a chair (from my last move), and another (at least) $25 scattered around my floor. I come home at the end of the day and empty my pockets, and I never refill them the next day. It was kind of my dirty little secret, until C came over to help me pack on Thursday.
"M."
"Yeah?"
"I didn't judge you until now."
That was when she found the aforementioned pillowcase (wieghing in at at least 10 pounds).
"You know what's going to happen tomorrow?"
"What?"
"I'm going to talk to N, and she's going to ask me, 'how was helping M move?' 'It was awesome. She's the richest woman I know. I'm going to go rob her bedroom floor.'"
See, back home in Ohiah, we have these nice big machines, and you take your change pail in and dump it in and it sorts it and pays you the money. This is an awesome invention. I don't understand why, here in Ke-bek, we don't have these things. Because now I am stuck with a shoebox, nay, a bootbox, full of change, that I'm sure as shit not going to sort and roll, and will probably just sit around until either the shelf breaks or I move again.
And when the guy on the corner asks me for some change I tell him I don't have any. I'm a baldfaced liar.
Posting might get a bit spartan in the next few weeks, as I haven't set up to have high speed installed yet, and I don't do land lines, so no modem....
No, change is bad.
Well, either way, change is freakin' everywhere.
I have a disease. I guess it must be genetic, because I'm pretty convinced my mom has it too. I have a change disease. It accumulates everywhere. There was at least $10 on my desk, probably $8 on my dresser, $40 or $50 in a shoebox, another $30 or so in a pillowcase under a chair (from my last move), and another (at least) $25 scattered around my floor. I come home at the end of the day and empty my pockets, and I never refill them the next day. It was kind of my dirty little secret, until C came over to help me pack on Thursday.
"M."
"Yeah?"
"I didn't judge you until now."
That was when she found the aforementioned pillowcase (wieghing in at at least 10 pounds).
"You know what's going to happen tomorrow?"
"What?"
"I'm going to talk to N, and she's going to ask me, 'how was helping M move?' 'It was awesome. She's the richest woman I know. I'm going to go rob her bedroom floor.'"
See, back home in Ohiah, we have these nice big machines, and you take your change pail in and dump it in and it sorts it and pays you the money. This is an awesome invention. I don't understand why, here in Ke-bek, we don't have these things. Because now I am stuck with a shoebox, nay, a bootbox, full of change, that I'm sure as shit not going to sort and roll, and will probably just sit around until either the shelf breaks or I move again.
And when the guy on the corner asks me for some change I tell him I don't have any. I'm a baldfaced liar.
Posting might get a bit spartan in the next few weeks, as I haven't set up to have high speed installed yet, and I don't do land lines, so no modem....
posted by M at 8:42 PM
8 Comments:
So I'm walking down the street with my friend Gabe and a guy asks for change. Gabe says "no,I haven't got any" to which the guy replies, "so why are your pockets jingling?" Which, of course, they were. The proper retort of "those are my keys" didn't occur to us later, but hey, that would have been a bald face lie too.
~P
mMaybe its an epidemic M... My mum asked whether we were planning to
"cultivate" the change we throw around...
Fitèna
I am so sending my ninja associates to rob your bedroom floor! The only way you could know of their presence is by the jingling sound they make during the getaway.
Coinstar!
I have about 3 or 4 British pounds, around fifty cent Canadian, and a couple bucks American on my nightstand. I also have a few Pesos around somewhere.
-Suley
I have a 5-gallon water container that currently has $260.36 US in it. I've been saving up for about a year now, and it's still only about 10% full right now. That's gonna be a big payday when I finally decide to empty it. There probably won't be enough coin rolls in the world. 8-|
You have a sickness. :-)
Aw man I have to tell you I about busted a gut reading your pants post. Actually a lip. Cuz of the stitches and all.
Never is laughter so exquisitely painful than when reading the blog of the almighty M.
I remember those change machines. In LA they are called "Coinstar" or something like that. I was always suprised how many were willing to pay to basically change their money from one form to another.
Then again, the alternative can be painfully awkward. I remember some old ladies who would excruciatingly count out two hundred or so pennies to pay at the grocery store.
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