first contact
Today was the first day I've seen roomie since my eviction last Tuesday.
I don't believe we have yet exchanged a single word. Not even for me to tell her that I am, in fact, moving out (confirmed) next Sunday. Shit, next Sunday. Aurgh. Life into boxes again. Good thing I've learned not to throw them out. Ever...
In other news, I went for my innaugural outdoor ride of 2006 on Saturday. It was temperate and mild and I just went puttering around on my cross bike (yay knobby tires on ice, yay yay yay). It felt good to get the legs moving and the wind in the face again. I'd forgotten how much I love riding. I almost develop a fear every year, that I will somehow cease to love riding, that it will become something I do because it's what I do, not because it's something I love. But as soon as I got out of the city and got rolling, it all came back to me.
Then today, it's -5 and dumping snow like nobody's business. Spring, man. You are such a tease.
I need to do a lot of introspection in the next little while. I think I might be at a critical junction in my life, where I need to make a decision. Me and my hurt feelings, we've always been good friends. I keep them near and dear to me, and angrily push people away. It's not good, but sometimes I think it's easier than getting hurt. I am so flaming mad at roomie right now, but I think if I can get over it and forgive her and salvage some remnants of a friendship, it might be a good thing for me to know that I'm even capable of that. But for the next 18 days, I just need to coexist, and avoid saying something really hurtful.
Then I'll go sun myself on my 12th floor terrace while I think it over. Perhaps with a beer in hand.
I don't believe we have yet exchanged a single word. Not even for me to tell her that I am, in fact, moving out (confirmed) next Sunday. Shit, next Sunday. Aurgh. Life into boxes again. Good thing I've learned not to throw them out. Ever...
In other news, I went for my innaugural outdoor ride of 2006 on Saturday. It was temperate and mild and I just went puttering around on my cross bike (yay knobby tires on ice, yay yay yay). It felt good to get the legs moving and the wind in the face again. I'd forgotten how much I love riding. I almost develop a fear every year, that I will somehow cease to love riding, that it will become something I do because it's what I do, not because it's something I love. But as soon as I got out of the city and got rolling, it all came back to me.
Then today, it's -5 and dumping snow like nobody's business. Spring, man. You are such a tease.
I need to do a lot of introspection in the next little while. I think I might be at a critical junction in my life, where I need to make a decision. Me and my hurt feelings, we've always been good friends. I keep them near and dear to me, and angrily push people away. It's not good, but sometimes I think it's easier than getting hurt. I am so flaming mad at roomie right now, but I think if I can get over it and forgive her and salvage some remnants of a friendship, it might be a good thing for me to know that I'm even capable of that. But for the next 18 days, I just need to coexist, and avoid saying something really hurtful.
Then I'll go sun myself on my 12th floor terrace while I think it over. Perhaps with a beer in hand.
posted by M at 8:19 PM
1 Comments:
"Me and my hurt feelings, we've always been good friends. I keep them near and dear to me, and angrily push people away. It's not good..." And you realise that its not good and that you should open up. M, you're gonna be just fine and introspection is good.
Fitèna
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